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  • Writer's picturechristin campana

All the balls

There is only one of me....but so many roles to play

Juggling all the mom balls? Yes, mom's have balls too. Just a different kind. It is stressful to try to do it all, and do it all well. We want to be awesome at our jobs. We want to be awesome moms. We want to be awesome spouses. But it just feels like something always gets the short end of the stick....and let's be honest, it is typically ourselves that gets the short end. When was the last time you peed at home in private? When was the last time you had more than a few minutes to yourself.....where you were not anxiously awaiting to hear "mom, mom, mom, mom." Taking care of yourself is hard enough without having to balance all the roles that come with being a working mother. Well, the good news is you can try all day, but you will never be perfect! Good news? Yes! Because if it is impossible to be perfect all the time at everything you can stop expecting yourself to be. You are one woman, and as much as you look/act like wonder woman, you cannot keep it up forever. Okay....I know that sounds depressing, but just hold with me for a minute.

When we keep looking at meeting everyone else's expectations or perceived needs, we build up this impossible to attain level of beaver cleaver, pintrest mom, homemade vegan keto dairy free, yet somehow delicious way of life. This is a false ideal!!!! Where do these ridiculous notions of being a perfect mom even come from? First off, take it back to what does it even mean to be a mom? What is your real purpose in that role? When you get a clearer picture of what your responsibility is, it clarifies the job description and expectations and goals. If I'm stressing and running around at work trying to make sure everyone has working computers and office supplies needed to do their job....but my job is to actually meet with clients......I'm striving after the wrong task. If I'm stressing to make sure my daughter has cupcakes and back-up cupcakes for the allergy kids, and take time to go to her school lunch for her birthday for the 20 minutes I can squeeze out between meetings, if i get all the green lights, instead of focusing on what she really needs from me, I may be wasting emotional energy. What does my daughter really need? A mother who shows her love. I can do this in ways other than going to her class stressed and not even being really present with her then. I can give her hugs, special breakfast, 1:1 time before bed, birthday dinner....or whatever other ways she may feel loved. Kids have love languages just like adults do, so knowing your kids and how they feel loved is a great way to take away some of the stress we put on ourselves to be perfect and do it all.

If I do not have to be perfect and if i do not have to do everything that other moms are doing, I can focus on what my child needs. I can focus on meeting MY child's needs, which may be different than other children's. So, again, it does not do good to compare to other moms and other kids. First step......what does it mean to be a mom? do your children feel loved ( )? Last.....what ways can you show love to your children in ways they need? Figure out these things and you will be one step closer to reasonable expectations on yourself and others.

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